Saturday, 4 May 2013


Starting off with a song which means a lot to me. 

Failure in Disguise

Have you ever felt like you were the only one on the road?
Have you ever wondered, "Where has everybody gone?"
Have you ever felt abandoned?
Have you ever felt alone?

Have you ever felt like just crying out for help?
And then did you wonder "Will they even understand?"
Have you ever felt a pain you could not bear?
But the world, it goes around just fine anyway.

Well I, I hear your cry,
And I, I feel your pain;
I know you try so hard
To make things right,
To overcome
This endless fight
Just don't give up.

Have you ever felt like you just stepped over the line?
And then, did you just pretend that everything was fine?
Have you ever felt nobody knows who you are?
Have you ever felt like a failure in disguise?

I won't give up.

okay. It was more than not having wifi in hostel on the 1st of May. When did I ever get upset over little things like this? Beyond those happy pictures, you who know me, see a tired me, I'm tired, more than just physical tiredness. It's not those events, but the ppl that tires me. So hard to describe it. I thought I was fine, making new friends have never been this hard, I mean, genuine good friends. I try to be a good friend to everyone, be sincere. I don't expect to be treated the same in return but pls don't mess with me, your life goes on perfectly fine with or without me, true? Deep inside my heart, I know who is sincere, it breaks me when you pretend to be. I feel so demotivated around you, and I try to be as encouraging as I can to you, tiring anot? Again, I know I'm imperfect, very flawed, I forgive as my Heavenly Father has forgiven me. 
"Show me how to love like You have loved me."

All these opened up my eyes, I'm spending more time with ppl who matter. I don't have to fake a smile, don't have to be afraid to open up and say "hey, I'm not doing too well". It's a learning process for me. I also miss my loved ones not-so-far and really far so much. I'm grateful for every thoughtful text, twit, WA, anything from all of you. Sorry if I made you worried, I'm back on my feet with your help and God's grace :)  
Thanks for reading ♥